I was very disheartened last week – so much so I didn’t want to tell my followers that, for the first time since my stroke, I was gonna quit.
It all started when my insomnia came back. I was trying to keep up on my course – sometimes I was saying anatomical terminology in my sleep, or I’d be awake for most of the night. So I had to see Dr Lucinda who knows me well. I told her my issues and asked her for sleeping pills: “Just to keep me going.”
But her answer came as a shock: “Sorry Pete, I can’t.”
I looked at her with disbelief, so she went on to explain: “Pete, you’ve been through that stage now; I’m not happy you want to go backwards! As your doctor, I feel it’s not in your best interest, so I can’t give them to you, sorry.
‘What you need is to back off,” she continued “You’re pushing too hard. Your concentration isn’t what it was, and you haven’t studied for 20 years! Just think what you have done, take a step back and go part time.”
So I left with my telling off and took action, setting up a meeting with Darren and Liz, principal lecturers at Tafe. I told them I was struggling and they were very understanding about it, coming up with a good suggestion: I should hit the course in two halves – go away, work on my recovery, then come back in July with a fresh head!
I’m so grateful for that option! Also feel a great relief, as I was going to quit – and that would have destroyed me inside! I had a direction and it was my first real one since wanting to walk!! Now, I’m really happy again.
Finding a balance is the key, I guess. You can’t do 5 years of physical then just switch to full on study! I was stiffening up and getting depressed too.
From now on….Slow n steady Pete. Slow n steady!!
Thanks Mt Lawley Tafe!!