And all I wanted to “Snatch” was a pizza!


A simple night, yeah right!!

I was in my room,  trying to get to grips with this guitar larky – the  strings make ya fingers sore…Ouch!!!!

I got a text: “What you up to?” and I was asked to pop round for a cheeky wine!

I thought “Why not? My fingers can’t take much more anyway.” So I did. 

A pizza was mentioned. “Ok, yeah. Cool, let’s go pick it up.” Nice slice of pizza, glass of wine. Oh yes!!! Just the thing after a hard day’s rehab. Then early to bed sounds bliss. 

Yeah, right!!

On the way, my friend spotted a dog wandering on the road and, being a dog lover, stopped. Me, being a dog lover, totally agreed. But tired n hungry I really wasn’t in best-friend’s helper-man mood. I was a tired, sore, ‘need a sofa’ kinda man!! 

But she did the right thing, put the dog on a lead n rang the ranger!!

With me so far?

Ok, so at this point we’ve got him in the car, picked up the pizza ( all good) and the ranger is on his way.  

But then the evening lost its vibe, what with this bulldog snorting in my ear, with an annoying breathing thing going on, and happily dribbling on my shirt sleeve, trying to get a sniff of my pizza.  

Picture us sitting in a car for 40 mins in the dark, eating pizza with this fire-snorting Turner & Hooch hound in my ear, dribbling on my shirt and, to top it off, having to turn the windows down as requested, so bleeding mozzies start biting!  

Bless him, but I was less than chuffed. I knew I should have stayed on my bed strumming peacefully. We did a good thing, but from a purely selfish point of view, good things sometimes suck!

The ranger came, took him away – poor little pig-snorting sod (the owner must be deaf). If he were my dog, I’d have to keep him in a sound-proofed room.

He reminded me of that dog in the film “Snatch”  that swallowed the squeaky ball – cute for all of 1 minute!!!

What a great night!!


Whoa whooo!! 



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