For a non-drinker I’m not doing too badly; I had a few glasses of rosé tonight – few too many, to tell the truth! This isn’t the best time to write, but what the hell! I’m on my last day here in Mauritius, which has been an awesome help to me in my recovery, not to mention dealing with my marriage break-up.
I’m drinking on my own, feeling quite comfy with myself as I sit next to the softly lapping waves with UB40 playing in the background, looking out at the lights around the coast, just thinking. Thinking about the shit run with Jade. Thinking about the great friends I have –
particularly my ICU friend who says she’s looking forward to seeing me. Nice to know I’m missed!
How hard these 4 years have been; oh, my head was mental mental Chicken oriental!!! Yet now, my life’s strangely at peace. After all the madness I feel I’m ME again; well a NEW me but happy with myself once more!!!
I like being single, for now I can plan my every minute with no questions asked. I don’t have to do the right thing anymore. It’s funny but I like it!!
Of course, I miss taking care of someone but I have equally missed doing my own thing, being me again. I don’t think I’d remarry although you never know. Life’s weird. All I know is that right now I have to think of me, to focus on keeping a roof over my head and not jump into another relationship too fast. I’m in danger of rebound. I need love, I know what I’m like. So I’ve gotta stay focused on stuff, keep busy. Dave said he was off getting a few pics and he never returned. Just left me sitting here like piffy! Glad he did in a way; time alone is good sometimes and the rosé was going down a little too well!
I was thinking that maybe the old Pete is coming back – maybe all I needed was time to get in control of my game, as long as I don’t do it every night.
I can start living again!
Think the secret is everything in moderation!! Eat healthily, train regularly, and check your blood and blood pressure now and then. A good balance.
I go home tomorrow ready for the next chapter of my life and, I must say, feeling optimistic for the first time in years. I pray God keeps me strong not only for myself but for others, and to help me keep on striding forward. I’ll keep putting the time in, of course, but I can enjoy life now as I think I have the balance right. 1/4 me 1/4 others, 1/4 work, 1/4 fun – and there may be space one day for another lady too!
Am I prattling now? Must be the rosé! Sorry, I could go on all night, talking about cod shit to strangers!
Yeah, Mauritius has helped a lot. I said to Danny (the bridegroom) “Just typical. You get married when I split up.” Bet I’ll get married again when he gets divorced (nhough I hope he won’t!)
Life’s mad. Men plan, God laughs, ey?