So upset right now!!!!! Just clocked in at work and thought the day was going fine. All smiley “Morning! How are you all?” before proceeding to brush the floor as always and feeling very happy about stuff – Spring, sunshine, getting a bit better, feeling a lot stronger…When bang, it all changed.
I was told that my little breakdown on Friday (30 seconds if that!) was ‘inappropriate’.
I was touched, ya see, that someone had given me 10 free personal training sessions at the gym and I couldn’t help it: 2 minutes after the phone call from Cheri I broke down in tears. There were a few people around at the time, so I explained what had happened….which made me cry again.
Now for the last 3 years I’ve reached out to people in pain….sobbed my heart out like a kid, but I don’t breakdown as much these days as my continuing recovery helps me to control it better. But stroke really messes your head up, see?
Anyway, I was told that my behaviour on Friday was “totally in appropriate” and the person concerned was “not comfortable at all”, even though I had said ‘Sorry” straight after the breakdown.
I felt like a naughty kid being told off in the playground. I just stood there in shock wondering what to say!!! Had the tone been different, I could have understood, taken it on board, but it was delivered so seriously, and all I could think of in reply was, “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”
The reality hit me how your actions, no matter how small, can affect other people. I can’t do that again.
Damn!!!! I’m always nice to everyone, friendly, would do anything for them. I just didn’t expect that, never even saw it coming!!! So I said “Sorry” yet again then had to leave to control myself.
I will go back this Friday; just have to be really careful!
It’s a learning curve I tell ya!!! I just was reaching out. I never meant anything – I was CRYING for God’s sake!
I hate this stroke!!!!